Why You Are Here
You have been led to this post because you are tired of feeling like you have no control over your life. Some life situations have left you with negative thoughts that you can’t shake and as a result you have developed some bad habits. It’s time to shed this negative mindset for good. I will take you through the six steps to overcome this for GOOD in the NEXT 30 DAYS!
You Have The Power To Decide
Negative mindsets happen to all of us at some point or points in life. For some they are short lived and life goes on, but for others the mindset persists for day, weeks, months and even years. At that point the RIGHT to choose and the POWER to decide that they are not going to live that way anymore has long been forgotten. Getting into the habit of thinking that a negative thought equals the truth turns into a snowball effect of negative thoughts that develop into negative feeling that present as negative behaviors. When the negative thought patterns win, our will and purpose for our life loses. Unless we change the direction of how we speak to ourselves, we will continue to live a life that doesn’t align with our PURPOSE.
Pay Attention To How You Speak To Yourself
To identify ALL the ways you speak to yourself you need to keep a journal of the thoughts that enter your mind on a daily basis. Here are some questions to keep in mind:
· How do you feel about yourself?
· How do you feel about the people in your life?
· How do you feel about your life currently?
· Are you where you thought you would be? Why or why not?
· What would you like to change in your life?
· What are your goals?
· Are you willing to do what it takes to live in your purpose?
Every different mindset developed can affect our PERCEPTION of people, thoughts and events. They can also affect the way we PROCESS that information and the subsequent choices we make based upon the way we have received that information. By having negative dialogue with ourselves, we can make difficult situations worse. You begin to visualize negative images, which makes it less likely that you obtain your goals.
Just How Valid Are Your Negative Thoughts
In order to resolve your negative feelings you have to face them head on! As I write I am doing this VERY thing. Just because you follow these steps and are successful doesn’t mean you will never need them again. I use these tips consistently throughout my daily life; it’s what keeps me grounded, in the moment and at peace.
You have to dig into the negative thought patterns and associated feeling and give them the truth test. Ask questions of them and start with the thoughts:
· Where did the thoughts come from?
· What happened before the thoughts came?
· What feeling did those thoughts spark?
· How did those thoughts and feeling affect your behavior?
· What evidence of these thoughts do you have?
· Is there another explanation for your perception?
It might take you a while to go through this process in the beginning, but in about two to four weeks you will become used to the process and it will move quicker. Don’t rush the process, what you are learning will enable you to handle ANY situation in an appropriate manner because have the foundational skills to deal with stress, adversity and discord in a healthy way.
Stop The Repetitive Negative Thoughts
Once you identify the negative thoughts you must create a way to stop them when they come. A very direct way to do this is to say, “STOP” to yourself! You must drive out the negative thought forcefully and assertively. If you are a visual person then visualize an actual stop sign or for a more direct feeling create a noise or action that will snap you back to reality and disrupt the negative thought pattern.
Now we need to develop and substitute positive statements for the negative ones. Here is where affirmations come into play. Affirmations are statements of positive self-talk and we use them to drive out negative thought patterns. You can direct your affirmations to be the EXACT OPPOSITE of what your negative thoughts are. Here are a few to get you going:
· I love the way I feel
· I feel balanced, healthy and complete
· My flaws are transformed by love and acceptance
· I will transform my life by changing my mindset
· Fear is a false reality
· My will power is stronger than my negative thoughts
Practice using these positive statements in your mind and out loud to get more comfortable and feel confident using them in actual situations.
Now comes the FUN part, actually executing your plan! When those negative thought patterns come you are going to use everything you just learned to overcome them one minute at a time. For me, in the beginning it was THAT OFTEN! Eventually, the time in between will get longer and longer, then you are on your way to TRUE freedom. Starting out it is important to be and stay consistent in practicing your techniques; you WILL get STRONGER in the process because you are actively engaged. This will be the toughest part of all, following through! When the negative thoughts come and circle in your mind you have to recognize them before the pattern sets in. You have to face them and conquer them immediately.
For The Next 30 Days
I want you to create a plan for yourself using these six steps. Implement and execute these steps in your life and watch the change that happens in your life over the next 30 days. You will not be 100%, but you will be in a better place than where you started. Once you have mastered this you have a technique that you can carry with you for a lifetime! Check out our post on how to use meditation to manage anxiety for a twist here.