How to Deal With the Toxicity Created by Avoiding Toxic Behaviors or Traits
Introduction
What do you do when the toxic characteristics that you are attempting to avoid from childhood show up all over in your adult life? It’s so frustrating to have worked so hard to do better as you are growing up only to realize that those traits have materialized in ways you did even realize until it was too late. I see posts on Twitter often that say, “my toxic trait is…”, and I think about this. Through therapy, I have traced many of these toxic traits from childhood. The funny thing is most times they looked different, but at the root are the same in principle. Whether you are dealing with perfectionism, procrastination, or overall performance paralysis they all come from some deep rooted fear or issues that haven't been resolved or maybe even unearthed yet. It takes some deep work to expose the origin of these toxic traits so that you can begin to process through and unravel them.
Once these traits are in you, the story you tell yourself is one way it’s allowed to blow around and plant itself in various areas of your life. Sometimes they become such an unhealthy focus that we don’t recognize it until the behavior or habit becomes unsustainable in your life. Listen to my episode on unsustainable habits HERE (#116). One of the first steps to making the changes to develop healthier habits and behaviors is to first identify the root cause. I’m not a therapist and I will say that you might need to seek the help of a licensed professional because sometimes what is uncovered can be too much to walk through alone. As you listen to this episode take note of any awarenesses you notice. Think about what toxic traits you have and where they came from. This is a great start to being able to process through and move past these traits in a healthier way not only for you, but for anyone in your life. Healthier people create healthier communities.
You can listen to this episode in many locations.
Food for thought during this episode:
Identifying the origin of toxic habits and behaviors
The way you think affects how you react and respond to life
Stay curious, it brings growth and acceptance
Establish what toxic traits you have that have developed attempting to not be toxic
Forgiving yourself for not knowing better
Resources
Therapy For Black Girls- https://providers.therapyforblackgirls.com/
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